This photo was taken around the time of these quotes
Yes, the photo is not one of our best poses (2002).
Cristina, a firey Spanish Girl I went out with for 4 years. I met her in Australia while we were both on holidays in Qld. She lived in Spain. The relationship had many highs and lows. There was not much in between really. It was pretty full on.
She could only speak a very basic English. The quotes below are word for word as she spoke them, to help have a feel of her speaking them. We argued from day one and it rarely let up. These quotes I gathered, in order, over about 3 weeks about 2 years into the relationship, whilst in Spain. I decided to start writing them down as I began to realise what she is saying is a little humerous. Surely one person couldn't be saying all this to me!... I think it riled her sometimes as she would serve me up a torrent of insults as I would run off for the note pad to write them down!
You are shitty Sportif. (you are not an active sportsman)
You are ugly
You smell like a pig
You look like a pig
You eat like a pig
You are a pig
you have a heart of stone
you are boring
I hate your jokes
You have legs like a sparrow
your kisses are not sensual
you kiss like a child (or mother)
you are less healthy than a grandmother
you are like a troglodite
you are a prehistoric australian
your mum is the only one who think you are beautiful
you are a square head, you are german
you are a bad english teacher
When I suggested buying a naked woman statue
for her house as a birthday present for her:
I vomit on it, I hit you over the head with it, and if any vomit on my knee,
I clean my knee on your balls.
you fart like a cow
you are toxic for the planet (farts)
I don't like you
your face like a fridge - doesnt express any feelings (re facial expressions during sex)
usually when a woman is touching a man, he don't thinking of doors
sex is the 30th most important thing in your life. Before that is chocolate and scratch your nose looking for snot
you are a bad fucker
I need a man, sweet and sophisticate... Someone totally different to you
Go to another place, because you annoy me
I'm sorry but I dont like to see you eat crepes. I'm not posh, but I never see anyone eat crepes like you.
You have farts in your bottom and I have sparkles in my eyes.